Looking Forward to his Birthday
On October 13, 2014 I joined my family (from afar) in honoring my GrandFather, Memo, who passed from this physical world. I had no idea he was about to give me a powerful gift as I traveled home to El Paso at the end of September. When I heard he had only about two weeks to live I knew I had to go to him…and fast. And while I knew there wasn’t much for me to do, being with him in the early stages of transition was time I will cherish for the rest of my life. His death has changed the course of my life forever.
I arrived in El Paso on a Thursday afternoon and after a short ride from the airport, I found my grandfather sleepy and in a lot of physical pain. He seemed to perk up a bit when he saw me – and for a few moments I saw him as I always knew him – filled with life and love.
I spent almost three days with him. In those three days I sat with him and talked to him. I held his hands for brief moments. I laughed. I sent him psychic messages and healing energy. But mostly, as there was nothing I could do for him, I simply witnessed his painful transition from a state of sickness to dying.
He was mostly quiet and very graceful. I felt so helpless. I offered him love and positive energy from the seat beside him and I told him over and over in my mind, “I love you.” He kept me laughing as he complained about not being able to do yard work and other chores. Always a hard worker, I can only imagine how hard it was for him to sit day in and day out just waiting to die.
One day I couldn’t bare his pain and, against my mind’s better judgment, (since I’ve always been the odd ball in my family) I did energy work on him. He seemed to feel a bit better and I enjoyed his feisty spirit for the rest of the evening. He made me laugh and I really enjoyed hearing his life stories for the upteenth time. Before I left his side to return home, I told him I loved him and that he was the best grandfather. He said, “I love you, too.” and “yeah.”
Once home, I was directed to create an altar for him. His altar was equipped with his favorite things: honey, Werthers candies, and whiskey and I added magnolia flowers, yellow roses and candles. And from that day forward, I sat in ceremony with him every day, up to two or 3 times a day until he passed.
Once he passed, he asked me (through a medium) to continue sitting in ceremony with his physical body for four more days. It was important to tend to it as a scared animal or plant in addition to honoring his 4 incarnations. Not knowing what to do for the body, I promised to sit in ceremony for four more days. He thanked me for my work up until his transition and told me I really helped him. Later I learned my daily sits with him were helping him release the energetic cords as he transitioned.
This was the first time I sat with a dying person from afar. And while it was nothing I knew how to do, somehow my connection or contract with my grandfather led me to do work that I can only describe or understand as miraculous.
How we Heal Ourselves Through Helping Others
The experience has been life changing for me. For years I used my skills to help people heal – but never to ease someone through the death process. What I learned from ceremony:
- we have a sacred, intuitive self
- the power of intention serves us well at death
- how to live in sacred ceremony – every day
- distance is not an obstacle, we are truly connected at multiple levels, and
- love is power.
What a gift and what an honor to help this warrior during his transition to the other side.
I offer him great gratitude and much love from my heart today as I write this in memory of him. Thank you, GrandFather, for your wisdom, courage and strength. You were strong like the mountains and I still feel your quiet strength with me now.